MIA...but back....kinda/sorta

dear blog and blog-readers,

I know I have been out of action for months and months. I write this as a preempt because I intend to write soon more soon...

I will neglect you not too much longer Mr. Blog.

Fall in San Diego has come and gone. How swift and how surreal. It's the middle of December and Christmas lights are sparking my desire for the rekindling of light to come.

people rock. people roll. noone really knows edgar allen poe.

My mantra remains the same. I swim away and then yearn back again for it:
"Life is in Christ and nothing else REALLY matters. Everything is an opportunity in Christ to grow."

I guess I have written sort-of a blog. It's just a improvisation of all some of my thoughts...kinda like Jazz...

here is something i've been thinking about lately...
when you do nothing, everything seems like it is either too difficult or too easy to undertake. when you do something you realize that nothing is as difficult nor as easy as it first seems.

goodbye for now. but will write more "soon." :D

comfort in flux

Oh my goodness September is here!! When September comes around it always makes me think about changing seasons and our changing times. I can't believe that last September at this time I had not moved to Hawai'i yet. Now a year later and Hawai'i seems like it happened a long time ago and I feel like I have lived in San Diego for much longer than a month and-a-half.

I'm hopeful but, at the same time, a little anxious about the coming fall and winter. For as long as I can remember, I have never had a good fall and winter so naturally I am a bit pessimistic about it, however, this may very well be the fall and winter that I have been waiting for. I liken experiencing an awesome fall and winter to an Olympic athlete finally tasting that gold medal: After training for and anticipating the olympics all his life he believes it's possible but doesn't really believe it until he is actually standing on the podium and experiencing the medal around his neck. Likewise, though I have been dreaming of and anticipating a great fall and winter for a long time, and I know it's possible, I don't think that I'll completely believe it until I am actually in the thick of november and still feeling relatively good.

I was offered a full-time job by American Specialty Health (ASH) today! Woot! I accepted the offer and now I do not have to worry about a full-time job! Woot! I wasn't as happy as I thought I'd be though. I've kind of been in a weird/lackadaisical mood all day. I think it's a combo of a few different things: running a ton this week, super hot weather all week, the rolled chicken tacos I ate that didn't sit well with me at lunch + though it's a good thing that I received the job all this transitioning and in-flux stuff is still stressful I guess...even if it's a good stress.

Anyways, I just wanted to post once more before August ended. You know what's amazing??? In the midst of flux and change (that defines this life of ours) God is ALWAYS constant, ALWAYS good, forever our anchor. What a COMFORT!!!

fabulous SCRABULOUS

hi guys and gals,

hello all my bruthas and sistahs from another mother that share a spiritual Father. So, I actually posted a few days ago but something happened and when I had just finished my post it got erased...ugh!!!

a LOT has happened in my life and your life --some strife some husbands met wives and others have felt like they are under the knife...but we are all continually guided by da light near da light...

So last Saturday I went to my first scrabble meetup. hahaha! =) it was pretty fun and i am seriously learning to enjoy scrabble a lot more.

there are so many ridiculous words out there that you would NEVER guess are words. here are but a few...


Zabaione- A dessert resembling custard

Zyzzyva- A tropical weevil

Floccinaucinihilipilification- Considering something to be worthless

Borborygm- A rumbling of the stomach

Callypigian- Having an attractive rear end or nice buns


Another thing I am really getting into (or getting back into) is running. I guess it does help that I live one mile from Cowles Mountain. It also doesn't hurt that San Diego is a HUGE running city and there are tons of people who love running and tons of scenic places to run. I am thinking about training for a marathon and I will definitely do a half-marathon with some buddies (L-pizzle, J-trizzle?) at some point soon.

Here's something that is pretty sweet...God. God is God and as such He deserves all that He deserves which is all of our praise --our hearts, our souls, our all. I don't understand --nor do I think I ever will--HOW God is all-loving, all-knowing and all-powerful I just know that He IS. He is lovely and He is worthy.

on the job front i have peace. kaplan teacher training is intense and everyone is super smart! in addition to graduating from teacher training I also have to score really, really high on the math portion of my gre in order to qualify to teach for kaplan. it's a great challenge and whether or not it pans out i will learn a lot and i will do my best. i just interviewed at American Specialty Health (ASH) today for a full-time position as a Health Coach. I think the interview went rather well and i would love to work for this company. I also have a lock on a pt-position tutoring k-12 students who are economically and academically at-risk.

also, happy birthday jason. you and jack bauer...24!!!

you CAN DO it!!! Change your reality by thinking and acting

Wow guys. It is August! It's kind of insane to think about how much has and hasn't changed since last August. Lets see...last August I was still in Northfield and had not begun my journey to Hawai'i yet. Last August, Carleton and Carleton-folk still seemed very much in the fore-front of my life.

One year later, I have now relocated to a sunnier location my second time, I've spent 6 months working at an Adult Foster Care Home with schizophrenic patients and Carleton-folk are still some of my dearest friends. However, Carleton itself seems soooo far in the past. All at the same time I cannot believe over a year has passed since graduation and then again I can't believe it's ONLY been a little over a year since Carleton.

One thing that is different. In the "real world" it's harder to meet as many amazing people and get as close to them as when one was at Carleton. I DO still miss the people. However, after spending some time learning how to meet new people it's amazing how many activities and social groups there are out there. Since I've been in San Diego I've probably gone to 6 different social groups that span the gamut from interests in running, ping-pong, scrabble to theology and being new in town.

One thing is for sure. We definitely do underestimate how much we underestimate the role of belief, good attitude and the corresponding self-fulfilling prophecies that happen on account of how we think and what we do. There are so many things that you can change either in your attitude or your actions to make a positive difference in the lives of yourself and others that it's positively ridiculous to ever come to the conclusion that the situation that you are facing is one that is hopeless and that you are helpless. Nonsense I tell you.

ADD, extraintro and age

I think I may have ADD. Well, no not seriously, but I definitely cannot multi-task. I oftentimes find myself starting a bunch of tasks and then forgetting to finish them. This will not be good when I get older...I have started cooking a few times and leaving some water to boil and then going to read or do another task. Well, 30 minutes later I'll come back to a blackened and burnt pot. bad bad.

Like, right now I've been trying to get out of the kitchen and off the computer to go do some errands but between making lunch/breakfast, typing and reading e-mails, job-searching, facebooking, and blog-reading I have not managed to get fully dressed yet (although, mind you, I have brushed my teeth, done some laundry, finished some e-mails and job-searching and eaten breakfast/lunch). Our minds work in crazy ways sometimes do they not?

This whole reflection is a random (or not-so-random but seemingly that way) potpourri of mixed priorities.

I have intended to write for a few days but I am either a.) not in the mood to write or b.) too busy doing things outside that I haven't gotten a chance to.

I have been in San Diego for about 12 days and I keep on thinking of a good way to describe my experience so far in one word or two but I cannot. I'll just say I've experienced and explored a lot in a short time.

The first few days were pretty lonely and I have been learning more about the extravert/introvert/social nature of myself--although it's still a complex mystery to me. I see myself as a VERY social being and I know that I am at my best when I am in the company of some great people. I also realize that it takes me a long time to get really comfortable with people although I can meet people and get involved rather quickly. I also know that I am both introverted/extraverted depending on the context and people but I still haven't decided if I am more one or the other. For right now I just consider myself an extraintro--a solid combo of both.

What do you think do you think of yourself more as an introvert or extravert? Do you think that God is more of an introvert or extravert?

Now, onto a thing about age. I had the pleasure of sitting down to coffee with some truly sagacious young "old people." They are in their 60s or 70s but they keep their bodies, spirits and souls more active than most people I know that are in their 20s or 30s. They have such a positive outlook on all things and it just amazes me how involved they are in taking care of their community, work and family at an age when it would be extraordinarily easy and understandable if they were just on a lake-home fishing and expecting their family and community to take care of them.

I would much rather be physically old but mentally and spiritually astute than physically young and mentally and spiritually dull.

Okay, off to do errands...finally.

Roadtrip with God

I want to go on an adventure with God. Putting him in the driver's seat and seeing what a crazy trip that He'll take me on. He's a much better driver than I am, and unlike mwa, He won't get me lost but will lead me in the right direction.

I am yIN San Diego and, for the moment, groaning

I've been in San Diego since the evening of last Thursday, the 19th. I hit the road driving on Monday, the 16th.

I have never driven so long by myself before. It was a crazy, exhausting ride. The second day, when I was driving through Colorado I hydroplaned (it was sporadically raining intensely and then dry as a gumdrop) going at least 60-70 mph. The whole experience was much like bungee-jumping: sheer terror for 5 seconds and then everything is fine.

God was DEFINITELY sending his angels to watch over me that day because, miraculously, not only was I not hurt at all but my car somehow escaped unscathed saved for a flat tire (I was going so fast that I had lodged some grass and shrubbery into the rims of my right-side wheels, which led to the leaking of the front one and the popping of the rear one).

I called Progressive and had a spare put on the back and the front tire was fixed in just the nick of time by some very kind CostCo workers who did so free of charge to me.

Besides that minor mishap, the journey to San Diego went pretty smoothly.

I was exhausted once I arrived. It was very odd for me, being a very social person, not having much contact with people over four days time. I did get a chance to catch up with some awesome friends who saved me from being bored to death (thank you guys (and girls)).

So, I've been in San Diego since Thursday; I've been away from Saint Paul for a week now and I haven't had much contact with people at all. I am feeling rather lonely.

I am hypervigilant whenever I feel lonely or down for a few days since I know what it is like to slide into SAD and being down for awhile. I don't think that's what this is, at least I hope it's not. It's probably just adjustment and missing good company.

Anyways, it's funny how cyclical life can be and it's awesome how there is meaning and opportunity in every difficulty and hardship and unpleasantness that we go through.

Life is in Christ and nothing else really matters...everything is an opportunity in Christ to grow.

Change the world, bit by bit, one random act of kindness at a time.

SaYIN Diego

I am hitting the road tomorrow morning. I am off to San Diego!!!! Woot woot!!!

I will try to drive around 12 hours and make it to Denver by the end of the first day. On the second day of my trip I am going to try to make it to the Grand Canyon by sundown and set up shop and sleep there.

On the third day I am going to get up early and spend as much time as I see fit hiking the muy grande Grand Canyon. I've never been there but always longed to go. So...i hope so.

After hiking the Grand Canyon, if I have enough time I will try to drive the remaining 8 hours that is left and make it to San Diego by sundown on the third day. We'll see how this goes.

I'll probably be blogging in the near future and find that my trip went 1% as planned and 99% crazy-style (I'll probably end up stuck in Mexico for a few months or something).

I am excited...excited! All I know is that I am going on an adventure with God and I don't think i'm ready but He was born ready (actually I don't think He was ever born, but...)

I have a crazy story about an, literally, everlasting gobstopper that I'll have to post about sometime soon. not tonight. too tired.

it's been a good week. it's been a good life. friends and love and God and travels. seven and seven. seven in root to root seven. lucky slevin. lucky sleeping. good luck sleeping. good will hunting...i'm tired and it really show. :))))

adios amigos. i'll catch you once i'm in "america's finest city" (one of san diego's nicknames).

Ratatouillie in San Diego

hello. good morning. saw ratatouille (sp?) yesterday. like some others I was pleasantly surprised. when i first saw the previews i thought "what a joke. gimme a break. the premise is a rat who becomes a great cook by puppetteering a human aka pinocchio style." also, the previews didn't --as shania twain might say-- impress me much. i didn't find anything in the previews particularly laughworthy or attention-grabbing. however, when the reviews started coming in-A, A-, A, A- and a good friend told me how she was dragged into the movie with the same mindset as i but left pleasantly surprised i started to think that maybe ratatouillie was worth my 5 bucks.

then, once i determined that i wanted to see ratatouille i started to get excited and anticipate it. i didn't want to get too excited though because from past experience i know that if i get my expectations too high up then no matter how good a movie actually is it will not fail to disappoint and not live up to my impossibly sky-high expectations. inevitably though, the more i tried not to have expectations the more i DID have expectations. but surprisingly, ratatouille still not only lived up to my expectations but far surpassed them.

maybe i'm just on a high after watching this pixar delight but right now i'm going to say that it's so good that it's tied with "finding nemo" as my fave pixar pic. i laughed and (almost) cried and in the end i must say it was better than "cats" (at least until i actually see "cats")

so i'm getting ready to move to san diego pretty soon. i'm excited but also nervous. i know that the past doesn't always repeat itself and i also know that what we expect, anticipate and believe makes it more likely to come true (aka self-fulfilling prophecies) but a part of me is still dreading the fall and winter since i have been low-energy and down during that season for as long as i can remember. however, i could be standing on the brink of the cliff of an exciting and radical change for the better and just can't imagine what the freefall will be like until i actually experience it. who am i to predict the future? looking back and then flashing forward would i ever have guessed an inkling of half of what i would enjoy, learn and experience during the past four years? not a sumo wrestler's chance in a marathon. i have no idea what the next week holds let alone the next year.

the best way to approach uncertainty is with an eager expectation of hope and faith. what happens when the faith and hope don't feel that eager and natural coming though? well, then you think back and remember in the depths of your being what past experiences of faith and hope were like and then you accept by faith, with a confident assurance of things not seen that they will be well...and that all shall be well whenever you choose to meet whatever you may meet with, not your own, but God's life and love.

that sounds cliched but it's true. actually it's become very cliche to say it's cliched but true. what would really be original is to say what's true without having to falsely apologize with "this may sound really cliche but..."

oh, i almost forgot! i just found out recently that one of the most intelligent, charismatic and ebulliant men of the 21st century has his own blog.

Always A Choice

We always have a choice. We can't choose our temperament. We can't choose our circumstances. However, given all the many things that we cannot choose we still always have a choice. And that is one of the things that can make a life meaningful no matter what the circumstance.

A case in point: Holocaust victims, confined to a squalid life inside of Auschwitz. Although these men and women were stripped of almost all their human dignities, there was something that the Nazis could not touch. Most of those in the concentration camps succumbed to hopelessness and despair and reduced themselves to treating themselves and other's around them as less-than-human. An extraordinary few, though, chose to continue to treat themselves and others with dignity and kindness, even at the risk of their own lives. These few, in the most dire circumstances, show us that we always have a choice. Those choices, as hard as they may be, can bring meaning, love and hope to any circumstance.

EMPHASIZING the EMPHATIC!!!!!!! (eating crap+not exercising = super skinny??)

Wow, everytime I post I write this--but it's true: it's been FOREVER since I last posted (not including the poem I wrote a few days ago).

Met with my bro a few days ago. We are crazy different. It's always interesting to be with him but afterwards I am always pretty ponderous.

I purchased John Mayer's "Continuum" (his latest cd) on Itunes. I LOVE it! The first 7 songs are all really good. I especially like "Heart of Life." It sounds different, even Beatle-esque.

I usually reflect and reminesce on either time, people, life or God in my posts but, hmm, in this one I have just written about none of that "deep" stuff.

"Life is in Christ and nothing else really matters...Everything is an opportunity in Christ to grow." I'd like to make this my mantra. It is such a great saying and it sort of reminds me of Ephesians 3:19: "that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God" in that you can get so much out of the words if you emphasize them at different points. Let me explain...

Ephesians 3:19 is FILLED with numerous emphatic words like FILLED, MEASURE< ALL, GOD, FULLNESS. All these words are used in a single sentence and all of them are used to emphasize the unfathomable DEPTH and BREADTH that GOD encompasses. Trying saying the sentence and emphasizing a different emphatic word each time (i.e. FILLED to the measure of all the fullness of God...filled to the MEASURE of all the fullness of God...filled to the measure of ALL the fullness of God...filled to the measure of all the FULLNESS of God...filled to the measure of all the fullness of GOD).

Fun huh? Now try reading through Ephesians 3:19 and emphasizing all the emphatic words (i.e. FILLED to the MEASURE of ALL the FULLNESS of GOD).

Now lets try this little ditty using my mantra: "LIFE is in Christ and nothing else really matters...everything is an opportunity in Christ to grow; Life is in CHRIST and nothing else really matters...everything is an opportunity in CHRIST to grow; Life is in Christ and NOTHING else really matters...everything is an opportunity in Christ to grow; Life is in Christ and nothing else REALLY matters...everything is an opportunity in Christ to grow; Life is in Christ and nothing else really matters...EVERYTHING is an opportunity in Christ to grow; Life is in Christ and nothing else really matters...everything is an OPPORTUNITY in Christ to grow;
Life is in Christ and nothing else really matters...everything is an opportunity in Christ to GROW.

Finally here's the mantra with all the emphatic words emphasized (LIFE is in CHRIST and NOTHING else REALLY matters...EVERYTHING is an OPPORTUNITY in CHRIST to GROW).

Don't you get a lot more out of the words after going through that exercise?

Speaking of exercise I haven't done any in the last 10 days. Plus, I've been eating a lot of crap When I don't exercise and eat lots of crap instead of gaining weight I tend to lose it. Crazy.

On that note I'm going to stop procrastinating and mow the lawn and then shoot some hoops mos def.

Come on baby let's dance

Come on baby let's dance

Round and round the circle we go

Where we end up only God knows

Swinging forth and bursting through

It's time for us to create something new and stay true

Lets show them what we're all about

Lets twist and shout and run all about

Let them show us what they're all about

We'll just stay here and pout

Hanging out

Hanging

Out

Baby let's dance come on

The Circle (Round and round we go): Smile =) because you can and you choose too

Wow...it's been a LOOOONG time since i've posted last. It's time for me my thoughts to grasp...Seize them now and see them in full throttle.

I am in a weird mood...ponderous, and fully in the realm of my mind yet full of energy and ready to spring into action. I feel optimistic about the future...satisfied with the past and fully engaged in the present.

I feel flow. I also feel like I'm stuck in a cycle...which is not necessarily a bad thing...Life is wondrous and life has it's depths of yearning and misery...however it seems to me that the pattern of life is cyclical and pervading throughout it is a thin film of optimism, hope and dreams about to be grasped. I feel that in spite of it all --all the heartache, all the apathy, all the dark nights of the soul--if you sum up life and spell out the gist-- it ends up being a beautiful, exciting opportunity and a grand adventure. I think that we must choose to make life though.

Choose beauty....resist ugliness.

Let your creativity bubble and let your smile brim over and inspire those around you and encourage yourself.

I'm taking the GRE tomorrow. How do I feel about it?? O feel: whatever. Do my best; be satisfied and leave the rest up to...the rest.

People...people are "good monsters." And we should not judge the good in the monsters because we are all "good monsters." If you look close enough at someone's eyes you can see the potential for something beautiful to blossom out of the most seemingly, at-first-glance, darkest soul.

Who knows what the future holds. Who knows the inner workings of our mind and how our souls choose and move? We can't know that. But what we can do is simple yet profound. Enjoy. Become an aesthete. Get into the flow when you play a game of tennis. Sing loudly and passionately and dance panegyrically. Take risks when your fearful and timid. Interrupt what you're doing and have a good conversation with a friend. Stand up to your boss and tell him he's way out of line.

Smile because you can and you choose to. =)

motivation from procrastination

I'm procrastinating procrastinating procrastinating...yeeees I am...

Sooo, I have the GRE coming up on May 29th and I have been really unmotivated to study lately. But I will get on it...right after this procrastination post (yeah right I will...he).

I've been thinking lately about how doing the small things and making the everyday, boring, right choices (i.e. choosing to study instead of procrastinate and waste hours on the internet) is really important in the long run. However, I've also realized the flip side that sometimes when you mess up in the everyday and you get all bent out of shape about it then you are focusing too much on the small things and it would behoove you to consider the bigger picture.

So you got a C in the Biology class? BIG deal, chances are one C on your Sophomore, winter term grades won't even be remembered by you a few years down the line. Besides, though you sometimes don't do as well as you would like on subjects that are not your expertise you have great relationships with the people around you and all in all it's okay because you've got Christ.

When we zoom in and get bent out of shape by unimportant minutae we can always recenter ourselves and bring us back to reality when we go back to truth: Life is in Christ and nothing else really matters...everything is an opportunity in Christ to grow.

So whether you're having a bad day, a bad minute, a bad season of life remember that it's all small stuff because God's giving you a great big bear hug right where you are and He's telling you that in all your iniquities and flaws He still loves you greatly.

Sooo, it's good to find a balance between, on one end, focusing too much on the small things to the point of ignoring the bigger picture, and on the other hand, neglecting the small things so much so that the bigger picture gets ruined (after all the bigger picture is just the summation of all the details).

Finally a note of caution: it's all too easy to use the excuse "I'm focusing on the big picture" when we continually repeat the same mistakes over and over without improving. And it's also all too easy to cop out behind: "I'm being attentive to the details, and after all, it's the little things that do make a difference" when we are losing site of the bigger picture and getting caught up in minutae.

If we use these two excuses often enough we run the risk of losing sight of the small things that matter and losing sight of the bigger picture. In the end it's all about--it's always about balance and moderation.

...okay enough procrastination...it's time for me to hit the books.

Dreamy UnDErdog

I am a slacker..but I will post soon..mos def.

Wouldn't it be cool to be the underdog that makes the topdog look like the underdog (i.e. 8th seed Golden State Warriors are about to upset 1st seed Dallas Mavericks). There is a just something within us that celebrates and is ebulliant whenever we hear of a successful underdog story.

So while underdog stories are the feel-good happenings of big sporting events like the Olympics, imagine how amazing to the human spirit an underdog story on a larger scale is. For example, what if all our lives instead of performing below our potential and consistently choosing the lower paths and easy way outs we were to one day make all the right choices, choose to go against our fears and not only perform to our potential but find that we can be far more than we ever imagined ourselves capable of. Wouldn't that be the best underdog story EVER? Wouldn't that just make all the crap in your life a hundred times over more than worth it??

Perhaps an amazing ending can transform a lackluster story into a classic tale.

Sometimes, I feel like we all get stuck in inertia and we are waiting for someone or something to pull us out...something dramatic and epic to come sweep us out of the dirt. However, there exists no lucky lottery ticket to change all our fortunes save for the mundane, boring but germane task of choosing the right choices in the small things consistently. Only after we start to make the right choices that seem to make little difference in the short run do we see a large impact begin to illuminate itself in the long run.

Dreams....dreams are CRAZY. Dreams are essential.

Don't scratch an itch instead go watch the riseYIN sun.

WOW! I've been mia for a while...but I'm back... and better than ever...I'm tired right now so maybe a little incoherent/delusional/OOOH YEAH!!!

So, lately I've been having a little bit of trouble with my boss at work. I feel like he's very hard to communicate with and he can be kind of manipulative and condescending. And since many other co-workers feel the same way about (I'll deem him) "he-who-shall-not-be-named" I have gotten into the bad habit about commiserating about our boss with other employees.

It's not good. Talking about people behind there back is kind of like having an itch: on the one hand it's so tempting and so hard to resist not scratching (or talking about someone when they're not around) yet if you do itch (talk) than you have to keep itching (talking) and eventually you feel bad for itching (talking).

Anyways, I resolve to think the best about my boss and focus on his good aspects (and they ARE there) instead of chewing him apart in my mind or complaining about him with others.

Before I make true of this pledge I want to share one last thing about this man...he LOVES using acronyms...He'll make up acronyms for words that are not supposed to be abbreviated (i.e. birthday inexplicably becomes bd). He even abbreviates already abbreviated acronyms (i.e. pm and am are merely 'p' and 'a' in "he-who-shall-not-be-named"'s lexicon.

It's kind of funny but it does drive one nuts. He'll give acronyms to things that I wouldn't know what he was referring to if he were to use their full names...okay...that's the end...only good things come out of my mouth (or my hands) about my boss from now on or else nothing comes out about him at all. =)

In other exciting news (actually what I was just talking about wasn't exactly "news" nor was it that "exciting" I guess...anyways) the NBA playoffs started today!!!

I am so excited about the playoffs because I have really gotten into basketball since I am forced to watch it everyday with one of my clients. I really, really like Steve Nash and the frenetic Suns and they are going to... go...the...distance!!!

I was so AMPED for the playoffs that I actually entered a NBA Playoffs Bracket Fantasy League. So...I ended up creating my own league (team name was "the RiseYin Suns" and the slogan was "Nash'll kick ass.") and inviting a bunch of friends to join my game. However, it turns out that I entered too late and since the games started today they won't let me actually make predictions anymore. whatevs.

Finally, the weather has been SPRINGLIKE and PHENOMENAL this past week. It really feels like spring/summer now! I have so much more energy and it's just amazing how much something like the weather can affect your spirits.

I'm too tired to add pictures today. text will have to do.

...okay...fine...here's a picture: ...I guess it got posted on the top of the page. Ladies and gentlemen the one, the only; give it up for the great Steve Nash!!!



g'night

Alchemy In The Air

After a cold, dreary February-esque April day in Minnesota it was beautifully shocking how magical the night was. As I cruised along the highway with broken wipers and snow and rain slowly accumulating on my windshield I glanced out at the road--the colors from road lights hitting the ground and splashing and smearing together with the rain-- it became apparent to me how beautiful this luminous night was.

All was calm save for the gentle dripping, like light drizzle, that I imagined the snow made as it hit the ground. I know that this gorgeous moment will not last for long, but for right now, I just want to enjoy it. I wish I could dwell in this moment, to make it my home, for more than just one hour of tonight. I long to seal it in a snowglobe and recreate the atmosphere just by shaking it. Yes, tonight there is alchemy in the air.


Alchemy in the air

Walk out the cinema after experiencing the classic
Wipe off your chin after that long-awaited chocolate
Go to sleep and dream after watching the Olympics
Dance and jump
and sing (just sing!!)
because alchemy is in the air


It is my hope that all of you experience some alchemy in the air at least one night this week.

The Beautiful People

2 thoughts...make that 6...or more...whatevs:P

1. We are most at home when we are with the people that share with us a deep and mutual love for one another...don't ya think??

2. On this side of heaven things are never as good nor as bad as we make them out to be...So...there are moments of joy in the worst of times and there are moments of blah during the best of times as well.

3. When it all comes down to it, everything that is worthwhile is found in our relationships with people and God...not career, not fame, nor wealth (actually striving after these things is usually people-oriented as well--to gain respect, love and acceptance from others).

4. We wilt in all ways (socially, emotionally, spiritually, yes, even physically) when we are isolated from people or living in bad company for extended periods of time. Conversely when we are immersed into a community of amazing people we thrive and burgeon and and live the most authentically.

5. I really like this verse: "Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good." -Romans 12:21

Every adversity is also a tremendous opportunity to grow. In the most testing and difficult of situations the most beautiful acts of courage and kindness have blossomed: i.e. Ghandhi liberated his people through bloody non-violent sufferings, birthpangs bring forth new life into the world. Camus says it best: "In the depths of winter I discovered that within me lies an invincible summer." Richard Foster paints a beautiful picture of what God does with the ugly if we choose to let him: "He brings beauty out of ashes."

6. I think I really like top ten lists. :)

7. Here's a phrase that I thought up today that I believe is probably true: "It is much more enjoyable to do something that is unpleasurable but meaningful than to do something that it pleasurable but meaningless."

I know this post is all over the place but such is the nature of my thoughts: random, seemingly disparate ideas that are actually connected somehow.

Tonight I saw "Night at the Museum" at the cheap seats. It's been a long time since I have seen a Ben Stiller movie and I was definitely not disappointed. Oh Ben, you are HIlarious! The scene where him and the monkey get in a slapping battle had me rotfl.

I am thankful for...

Before I go to bed tonight I thought it'd be a great idea to list (at least) 10 things that I am thankful for today. Here they are:

1. steak for dinner

2. work is over (Saturday is like Friday for me)

3. my cat liking to cuddle

4. tomorrow is Easter

5. good friends

6. that I got to spend a week in Miami Beach with a buddy

7. my four years at Carleton

8. hot chocolate

9. grace

10. the great feeling of being able to collapse in bed and sleep as long as you want after an exhausting day

11. laughing so hard that it hurts (check out wooden spoon prank Jesse showed it to me and I didn't have to do situps that night because I already got a good ab workout from laughing so hard).

Don't eat burgers at Dairy Queen...but do think well

I took my clients out to eat today and for the first time in my life I ate an actual meal, as opposed to just ice cream, at Dairy Queen. I had a burger and a dipped ice cream cone for my dinner and, oh my goodness, for the rest of the night it felt like Katrina had entered into my stomach. Please friends do not eat the burgers at Dairy Queen. Stick to the Blizzards.

Have you ever thought about your thoughts? My pastor always emphasizes the importance of "becoming a detective of your own mind." Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), the most successful and widely used therapy for treating depression and anxiety disorders, is premised on the assumption that changing your thinking changes the way you feel. Certainly, Scripture has been backing CBT thousands of years before modern psychology has discovered it and put it to successful use. Take a gander at only a sprinkling of passages in The Bible that focus on the importance of our thoughts:

"Guard your heart (basically, thoughts and emotions) with all diligence for from them spring the issues of life." -Proverbs 4:23

"Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ." -2 Corinthians 10:5

"Think on whatever is true, noble, right; whatsoever is pure, lovely and admirable--meditate on these things and the peace that transcends all understanding shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." -Phillipians 4:8

"Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." -Romans 12:2

Sow a thought reap an action, sow an action reap a habit, sow a habit reap a character, sow a character reap a destiny. To me, this old proverb really shows how important our thoughts really are. When we get right down to it, thoughts are like the atoms --the building blocks-- of the moral and spiritual and emotional fiber of the human being, and on a macro-level, the catalysts of human civilization and history. oooh, the power of a thought.

The power of little things. Little things DO matter. What seems inconsequential in the short-run, given repetition over a long period of time becomes immensely important. If you want to do well for yourself in the big picture of life it seems that the best thing that you can do is to live well in each moment as it comes. After all, life IS a series of moments strung together. I'm experiencing this moment and now this moment and now this moment and given enough moments there goes a day, a year, a lifetime. The best way to live well in each moment is probably to think well in each moment.

Time Sublime and Love Divine (it rhymes!)

Time is CRAZY. It's slow. It's fast. Time is here, oh! But once you realize where you are than it's already ephemeral and past. It's something that I am constantly perplexed and fascinated by but I can never grasp... aaaaah time...is simply time.


I just spent a week on vacation at Miami Beach. What happened to time for that week? Did it go on vacation with me? No, it stood still and slipped by and I was there and there it was and now it's past but presently, as I recall that week, the present is passing and I'm stuck somewhere between the future, the present, the past. That week seemed so short I can't believe it's over. At the same time when I went to work today it felt like eons ago since I had been at work...but it's only been a week.


A realization I'm coming back to lately...when you feel weak, when you don't know if you have the strength to go on, when you're drowning and you're bones are sapped remember in your soul that the one thing that is all important is LOVE in all it's beauty. When you're on top of the world; when you're feeling invincible, when your ideas resonate with the world and the world is flowing through your veins, when each breath is fresh crisp and you feel most alive you are still worse off than an animal drowning in it's own excrement if your being is not centered in love but is centered in self or ambition or lust.