MIA...but back....kinda/sorta

dear blog and blog-readers,

I know I have been out of action for months and months. I write this as a preempt because I intend to write soon more soon...

I will neglect you not too much longer Mr. Blog.

Fall in San Diego has come and gone. How swift and how surreal. It's the middle of December and Christmas lights are sparking my desire for the rekindling of light to come.

people rock. people roll. noone really knows edgar allen poe.

My mantra remains the same. I swim away and then yearn back again for it:
"Life is in Christ and nothing else REALLY matters. Everything is an opportunity in Christ to grow."

I guess I have written sort-of a blog. It's just a improvisation of all some of my thoughts...kinda like Jazz...

here is something i've been thinking about lately...
when you do nothing, everything seems like it is either too difficult or too easy to undertake. when you do something you realize that nothing is as difficult nor as easy as it first seems.

goodbye for now. but will write more "soon." :D

comfort in flux

Oh my goodness September is here!! When September comes around it always makes me think about changing seasons and our changing times. I can't believe that last September at this time I had not moved to Hawai'i yet. Now a year later and Hawai'i seems like it happened a long time ago and I feel like I have lived in San Diego for much longer than a month and-a-half.

I'm hopeful but, at the same time, a little anxious about the coming fall and winter. For as long as I can remember, I have never had a good fall and winter so naturally I am a bit pessimistic about it, however, this may very well be the fall and winter that I have been waiting for. I liken experiencing an awesome fall and winter to an Olympic athlete finally tasting that gold medal: After training for and anticipating the olympics all his life he believes it's possible but doesn't really believe it until he is actually standing on the podium and experiencing the medal around his neck. Likewise, though I have been dreaming of and anticipating a great fall and winter for a long time, and I know it's possible, I don't think that I'll completely believe it until I am actually in the thick of november and still feeling relatively good.

I was offered a full-time job by American Specialty Health (ASH) today! Woot! I accepted the offer and now I do not have to worry about a full-time job! Woot! I wasn't as happy as I thought I'd be though. I've kind of been in a weird/lackadaisical mood all day. I think it's a combo of a few different things: running a ton this week, super hot weather all week, the rolled chicken tacos I ate that didn't sit well with me at lunch + though it's a good thing that I received the job all this transitioning and in-flux stuff is still stressful I guess...even if it's a good stress.

Anyways, I just wanted to post once more before August ended. You know what's amazing??? In the midst of flux and change (that defines this life of ours) God is ALWAYS constant, ALWAYS good, forever our anchor. What a COMFORT!!!

fabulous SCRABULOUS

hi guys and gals,

hello all my bruthas and sistahs from another mother that share a spiritual Father. So, I actually posted a few days ago but something happened and when I had just finished my post it got erased...ugh!!!

a LOT has happened in my life and your life --some strife some husbands met wives and others have felt like they are under the knife...but we are all continually guided by da light near da light...

So last Saturday I went to my first scrabble meetup. hahaha! =) it was pretty fun and i am seriously learning to enjoy scrabble a lot more.

there are so many ridiculous words out there that you would NEVER guess are words. here are but a few...


Zabaione- A dessert resembling custard

Zyzzyva- A tropical weevil

Floccinaucinihilipilification- Considering something to be worthless

Borborygm- A rumbling of the stomach

Callypigian- Having an attractive rear end or nice buns


Another thing I am really getting into (or getting back into) is running. I guess it does help that I live one mile from Cowles Mountain. It also doesn't hurt that San Diego is a HUGE running city and there are tons of people who love running and tons of scenic places to run. I am thinking about training for a marathon and I will definitely do a half-marathon with some buddies (L-pizzle, J-trizzle?) at some point soon.

Here's something that is pretty sweet...God. God is God and as such He deserves all that He deserves which is all of our praise --our hearts, our souls, our all. I don't understand --nor do I think I ever will--HOW God is all-loving, all-knowing and all-powerful I just know that He IS. He is lovely and He is worthy.

on the job front i have peace. kaplan teacher training is intense and everyone is super smart! in addition to graduating from teacher training I also have to score really, really high on the math portion of my gre in order to qualify to teach for kaplan. it's a great challenge and whether or not it pans out i will learn a lot and i will do my best. i just interviewed at American Specialty Health (ASH) today for a full-time position as a Health Coach. I think the interview went rather well and i would love to work for this company. I also have a lock on a pt-position tutoring k-12 students who are economically and academically at-risk.

also, happy birthday jason. you and jack bauer...24!!!

you CAN DO it!!! Change your reality by thinking and acting

Wow guys. It is August! It's kind of insane to think about how much has and hasn't changed since last August. Lets see...last August I was still in Northfield and had not begun my journey to Hawai'i yet. Last August, Carleton and Carleton-folk still seemed very much in the fore-front of my life.

One year later, I have now relocated to a sunnier location my second time, I've spent 6 months working at an Adult Foster Care Home with schizophrenic patients and Carleton-folk are still some of my dearest friends. However, Carleton itself seems soooo far in the past. All at the same time I cannot believe over a year has passed since graduation and then again I can't believe it's ONLY been a little over a year since Carleton.

One thing that is different. In the "real world" it's harder to meet as many amazing people and get as close to them as when one was at Carleton. I DO still miss the people. However, after spending some time learning how to meet new people it's amazing how many activities and social groups there are out there. Since I've been in San Diego I've probably gone to 6 different social groups that span the gamut from interests in running, ping-pong, scrabble to theology and being new in town.

One thing is for sure. We definitely do underestimate how much we underestimate the role of belief, good attitude and the corresponding self-fulfilling prophecies that happen on account of how we think and what we do. There are so many things that you can change either in your attitude or your actions to make a positive difference in the lives of yourself and others that it's positively ridiculous to ever come to the conclusion that the situation that you are facing is one that is hopeless and that you are helpless. Nonsense I tell you.

ADD, extraintro and age

I think I may have ADD. Well, no not seriously, but I definitely cannot multi-task. I oftentimes find myself starting a bunch of tasks and then forgetting to finish them. This will not be good when I get older...I have started cooking a few times and leaving some water to boil and then going to read or do another task. Well, 30 minutes later I'll come back to a blackened and burnt pot. bad bad.

Like, right now I've been trying to get out of the kitchen and off the computer to go do some errands but between making lunch/breakfast, typing and reading e-mails, job-searching, facebooking, and blog-reading I have not managed to get fully dressed yet (although, mind you, I have brushed my teeth, done some laundry, finished some e-mails and job-searching and eaten breakfast/lunch). Our minds work in crazy ways sometimes do they not?

This whole reflection is a random (or not-so-random but seemingly that way) potpourri of mixed priorities.

I have intended to write for a few days but I am either a.) not in the mood to write or b.) too busy doing things outside that I haven't gotten a chance to.

I have been in San Diego for about 12 days and I keep on thinking of a good way to describe my experience so far in one word or two but I cannot. I'll just say I've experienced and explored a lot in a short time.

The first few days were pretty lonely and I have been learning more about the extravert/introvert/social nature of myself--although it's still a complex mystery to me. I see myself as a VERY social being and I know that I am at my best when I am in the company of some great people. I also realize that it takes me a long time to get really comfortable with people although I can meet people and get involved rather quickly. I also know that I am both introverted/extraverted depending on the context and people but I still haven't decided if I am more one or the other. For right now I just consider myself an extraintro--a solid combo of both.

What do you think do you think of yourself more as an introvert or extravert? Do you think that God is more of an introvert or extravert?

Now, onto a thing about age. I had the pleasure of sitting down to coffee with some truly sagacious young "old people." They are in their 60s or 70s but they keep their bodies, spirits and souls more active than most people I know that are in their 20s or 30s. They have such a positive outlook on all things and it just amazes me how involved they are in taking care of their community, work and family at an age when it would be extraordinarily easy and understandable if they were just on a lake-home fishing and expecting their family and community to take care of them.

I would much rather be physically old but mentally and spiritually astute than physically young and mentally and spiritually dull.

Okay, off to do errands...finally.

Roadtrip with God

I want to go on an adventure with God. Putting him in the driver's seat and seeing what a crazy trip that He'll take me on. He's a much better driver than I am, and unlike mwa, He won't get me lost but will lead me in the right direction.

I am yIN San Diego and, for the moment, groaning

I've been in San Diego since the evening of last Thursday, the 19th. I hit the road driving on Monday, the 16th.

I have never driven so long by myself before. It was a crazy, exhausting ride. The second day, when I was driving through Colorado I hydroplaned (it was sporadically raining intensely and then dry as a gumdrop) going at least 60-70 mph. The whole experience was much like bungee-jumping: sheer terror for 5 seconds and then everything is fine.

God was DEFINITELY sending his angels to watch over me that day because, miraculously, not only was I not hurt at all but my car somehow escaped unscathed saved for a flat tire (I was going so fast that I had lodged some grass and shrubbery into the rims of my right-side wheels, which led to the leaking of the front one and the popping of the rear one).

I called Progressive and had a spare put on the back and the front tire was fixed in just the nick of time by some very kind CostCo workers who did so free of charge to me.

Besides that minor mishap, the journey to San Diego went pretty smoothly.

I was exhausted once I arrived. It was very odd for me, being a very social person, not having much contact with people over four days time. I did get a chance to catch up with some awesome friends who saved me from being bored to death (thank you guys (and girls)).

So, I've been in San Diego since Thursday; I've been away from Saint Paul for a week now and I haven't had much contact with people at all. I am feeling rather lonely.

I am hypervigilant whenever I feel lonely or down for a few days since I know what it is like to slide into SAD and being down for awhile. I don't think that's what this is, at least I hope it's not. It's probably just adjustment and missing good company.

Anyways, it's funny how cyclical life can be and it's awesome how there is meaning and opportunity in every difficulty and hardship and unpleasantness that we go through.

Life is in Christ and nothing else really matters...everything is an opportunity in Christ to grow.

Change the world, bit by bit, one random act of kindness at a time.